Thinking About Vacation Sex?

It's vacation time!  Couples are visiting family, couples are on trips designed around romance.  And some have expectations about sex.  Here are some things I have learned from listening to all kinds of vacation sex experiences.

1. Vacation might or might not be a great time to work on your sex life.  If your sex life has been in bad shape, sex might be awkward.  If you are a typical vacationer, you might also be eating or drinking more than usual, not exactly a recipe for love making.  You might also really need to recharge your batteries, and sex requires energy.
2. It's a good idea to talk about expectations before you head off to your vacation location.  Are you wanting to get involved in every activity you can possibly sign up for--and thus leave little time for romance?  Or do you want to make sure you schedule down time for relaxing and getting in the mood? 
3. Speaking of expectations, I cannot begin to tell you how many people come into my office just a few weeks before a big vacation to get help with their sex life so they can have a good time while they're gone!  Therapy helps--but it isn't a magic bullet.  The time to work on your sex life is as soon as you recognize there is a problem.  That way you can have a reasonable timeline for fixing your sex life.
4. Go for quality, not quantity.  It is interesting that most couples can count the exact number of times they had sex during vacation.  Once is generally considered to be terrible, twice is okay, three times is good, and four times is fantastic.  Really?  And for which partner?  If you have a really good, long session of sex, you might be pretty satisfied for a couple of days; if you have a few short quickies, you might not be satisfied much at all.  Perhaps you are looking for more of an emotional connection, or the kind of orgasm you can only have when you are fully relaxed and have time for 20 or 30 minutes of foreplay.
5. Don't forget the lube.  If you have to pack more than a carry-on bag in order to get the lube to your location, then do it, or plan to stop at a drugstore when you get to your new location.  And while you're at it, don't forget the birth control unless you want a pregnancy as a souvenir of your trip.

As always, good communication is the key for all sexual interactions.  If you have concerns about your sex life, the time to talk about them is before you take your vacation.  In fact, the time to have a conversation might be when you are planning a vacation so that you can take your couple sexual needs into account, for example, when choosing accommodations.  For example, a suite-type room might be nice if you are taking the kids along so that you can really have privacy in the evening, or asking for a quiet room away from the pool if you want don't want to listen to noise while you make love.

Vacation sex can be wonderful sex.  Doing new things together potentially creates a great, intimate energy together. 

Next post:  How to bring vacation sex back into your day-to-day life.