The Blog Erotic

No Fireworks? 5 Steps to Revive a Boring Sex Life

Fireworks enchant us.  They suggest fantasy and fun with fleeting moments of intense spark.  That's why sex and fireworks are so often compared.  But admit it, your sex life may have fizzled like an aerial display above a gloomy harbor.

What is always the first step to changing things up?  That's right, admit there's a problem.  Look, there's no sense in either of you feeling obliged to have boring sex, then rolling over to stare at the ceiling only to ask yourself, "What was that?"

Next step?  Admit your boredom.  Yep, take a risk.  Let your partner know that you've gotten bored.  Don't blame your partner for your boredom because you'll really cause hurt feelings.  Best to have the conversation outside the bedroom instead of right after that wimpy or nonexistent climax.

Third step?  Take responsibility.  Talk to your partner about the fact that you haven't added anything to the fireworks cache, either.  Let your partner know that you're also open to suggestions.  Besides, it may even be more feedback that is missing for you.

Fourth:  Figure out the core of the problem.  Do you need more of a warm-up before you even get down to foreplay?  More oral sex?  Want your neck licked?  Or maybe you need a different environment, different music, a massage...

Fifth:  Experiment, and keep experimenting.  As Carrie suggested in the "Sex and the City" flick, you've got to color outside the lines.

Passionate Sex: 3 Keys to Sexual Excitement

"I want to feel wanted," is a refrain I often hear from clients who are in the throes of a relationship meltdown.  And what makes someone feel more wanted than having someone they cherish make passionate love to them?  Unfortunately, all too often, passion fades and partners are left feeling hollow and lonely.

There are many ways to increase feelings of passion in the bedroom, but 3 of the most important keys to passionate sex include:

1. Be authentic with your lovemaking.  It doesn't help to read a sex manual and then try out the latest oral sex move.  What creates more passionate sex is to touch and caress your partner in a way that expresses your loving feelings.  What does that look like?  Only you know.  Your style of expression is as unique as a fingerprint.  Let go of your inhibitions and get into the art of lovemaking.
2. Be adventurous and playful.  Making love is adult play.  Sex is a way to try out new ideas and behaviors--to be creative!  When you are playful, you are bound to do new things, to excite your partner.  Doing things that are new is shown by science to perk up the brain's interest.  Interest and curiosity generate passion.  Don't be so predictable.
3. Be open.  Give your partner a chance to explore your body in their own way.  Too many people get annoyed too quickly if their partner isn't touching or licking them in exactly the right way.  Get it out of your head that there is a right way or wrong way, only that there are things that you like better or not so much.  Tolerate your partner's experiments.  If you can be open, you might feel a new sensation, something you've never or rarely felt before.  If you are uptight and push your partner's explorations away, you could miss that experience.

There is no reason, really, for sex to grow stale.  The best sex isn't necessarily sex with a stranger, but sex with someone who knows you.  It takes passion to stay in a relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.